true to the title of the blog....

So it's been a while since I lived upto the name of the blog and randomly ranted, without rhyming it .. So here is the random rant and rambling backlog..  :)

• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

• I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

• I think obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

• Bad decisions almost always make for good stories.

• Never Ever date someone who can’t even close to save your name on his phone! He has no balls anyways.

• DO NOT try justifying an 'ex-comes-into-current scene-cuz-we-were-high' crap!! You should just own up and deal with it.!

• You never know when it will strike, but on some days there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day, and you willingly accept.

• “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this - ever.

• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to have a sip of water.

• Depression = Hunger= FAT= Not eating=Hunger + More Depression

• ‘Hmmmm..’ is my way of acknowledging that I heard you, but I don’t have anything to say.

• Shirts get dirty. socks gets dirty. Jeans? Jeans never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

• Is it just me or do school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

• There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond I am sure I am going to die after leaning my chair back a little too far.

• Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, or locating their specs - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

• Sometimes the most perfect of things have the tiniest of screw ups waiting right when you aren't looking! Watch out!

• Once bitten , twice shy, thrice pray do try! Because if you are thinking 'Oh NO!! I am going to fuck up again' you never even would get a chance to know.. And then when you fuck up, tell yourself.. “I said so!”

• Alcohol is like being in love with a bad boyfriend, you can blame it for all that goes wrong, hate it and leave it for a while, but when you have a sip after days, you want to finish the whole thing and start loving it all over again.

• Best Friends aren’t forever! Good friends are! No one is going to call you the most important person in their lives, above their parents/girlfriend or boyfriend after they grow up and have a life of their own!

• A boy and a girl cannot be just friends forever! At some point one of them will think of more than that. Whether they express it or not is situational.

• Insecurity is like an incurable tumor, you can remove it from your system, but it will 110% grow back, and you’ll remove it again and it will grow again, until it finally takes you down BAD!

• If you are a bitter loser and always want to win in a game, or you will kill everyone, then you have to, have to have some cheating tricks up your sleeve.

• Wearing bright colours on a day when you almost want to kill yourself out of depression, HELPS! (Tried and Tested)

• When friends decide to be lovers, it has to be FOREVER, or else.. YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS DOOMED! And that too forever!

• When I look at you, smile politely, not say a word but nod my head very attentively, I AM NOT LISTENING to you, in fact I am not even looking at you. I am totally at some other place.

• ALL smokers know that smoking kills, then why do Cigarette companies (forced by the government), close friends and family ask you to quit. It’s a conscious informed choice that smokers make! Unless someone shoves a smoke down your throat, BACK OFF!

• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?hello? !), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and cuts. I mean what what did they do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

• It sucks when you leave home all bright and looking good and then don’t see anyone of importance the entire day. Such a waste!

• I keep most people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

• Sometimes, I watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

• If you need to explain a joke, it’s NOT funny. Save yourself the embarrassment and zip it!

• The present love interest of an ex love interest will never fully like you, regardless of the fact that you are not one bit interested in their ‘baby’ anymore and vice versa.

• What goes around comes around also works backwards! So if your heart has been broken and stamped upon earlier, then willingly or unwillingly you will break someone’s heart later. And that someone could have never harmed a soul!


... I shall add to the list when I want to rant more.. :D

Noboby said it was easy...

Hard to breathe

even though there are open spaces all around.

Hard to stand,

but you don’t know what’s pulling you down.

Hard to imagine

and your mind isn’t here

Hard to be happy,

While you are constantly living in fear.

Fear that you will never ever let go

and from your heart never erase that face.

That you will never again visit

that familiar happy place.

Fear what you did,

you can’t undo.

That maybe you ruined everything,

and hurt them as well as you

Everything is so slow,

and yet somehow so fast.

While you go through the emotions,

longing to make your present the past.

So hard to accept,

So hard to see.

So hard to say

“This is all because of me”

You don’t want to die in your own shell of nothing

You plead yourself for one last chance

While you sit at the window alone and look outside

just to see that the rest of the world continues to dance



"All the world is a stage".. so they say...

Note - I have experimented a little with the rhyme scheme in this one, slightly. Just an attempt.

“All the world is a stage

and all the men and women are mere player’s”

seemed like a cliché to me forever

until now that I really discovered...

That it is but true

and we all have a role to play

we have to act a certain way

and we already have allotted lines to say

But I want to break away from it

and write my own life’s script

I want to cast my own actors

and never give them dialogues or roles to depict

In Life’s little setup

I met my Romeo and I thought it was love

I played my part to the T, and gave him my life

but as the curtains drew he walked back to the stand by Juliet

I waited and thought maybe I essayed it all wrong

maybe it wasn’t how it was supposed to be

but later the audience told me, he hadn’t played his part right

in reality ,they had all cheered  the act that was put up by me

I continued the drama

and tried to always say the right things to friends and foes

tried to stick to the plan and always get a happy ending

but slowly they all went off stage and I was the last one standing.

The world maybe a stage

and we may all have roles to play

but will this drama be the best the we will ever see

who is to say!!

I am carving my own story now

where I will direct the role I play

where I will script my own word

and monitor my own deeds.

In all honesty,

I did succumb to world's big stage

but it’s not what made me happy,

now I want to be free from it

and live life like it is not a dramatic play.

So from now until forever, I am going off stage,

to live life how my heart desires it to be lived

without having an audience to boo or applaud

and I apologize if I don’t play the perfect part in this play

as was wished by the Lord.

Where is my mind?????

I haven't written much in a while.. but this song explains everything about me right now.. Its been playing in loop on my phone for a week now... Trippy and how.. 


Here's the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaeM_oUtJYo&feature=related


Here are the lyrics-
With your feet in the air
And your head on the ground
Try this trick
Spin it
Yeah

Your head will collapse
But there's nothing in
But you ask yourself
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?

I was swimming in the Caribbean
Animals were hiding behind the rocks
Except a little fish, but they told me
He swears he was trying to talk to me, to me

Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?

Way out in the water
See it swimming
Where is my mind?

Way out in the water
See it swimming
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?

With your feet the air
And your head on the ground
Try this trick
Spin it
Yeah

Those were the best days of my life......

when mornings still meant mornings

as in waking up with the rising sun

when mom made smiling sandwiches

which made breakfast super fun

when exercise meant running to the bus stop

and then finishing homework on the way to school

when not wearing a uniform on birthdays

was a highlight and considered uber cool

when morning assembly seemed like a task

and you tried your best to skip it, faking sickness

when you tried to spot your favourite teacher

and with your friends, in detail discussed her dress

when last benchers were always the trouble makers

and the front benchers were shunned as a ‘teacher’s pet’

when you had silly water fights with the pesky boy

and thought that’s the only way he could get you wet J

when you stole glances at the cutie in class

and wrote paper chits across benches to your friend

when you didn’t hear a word and sat through boring periods

hoping that before you die they would end

when being loved back meant he would look back at you too

and if he spoke to you, it was like added bonus

when friends meant the whole wide world to you

and for all their faults, you would take equal onus

when the only success you knew was scoring well in exams

and beating the rival ‘HOUSE’ in the annual sports meet

when the famous five rupee canteen samosa with a coke

was considered as the best possible victory Treat

when looking good was all about a crisp white shirt and polished shiny shoes

and on that wearing a ‘CAPTAIN’ badge made you totally stand out

when you felt super guilty, embarrassed and hurt

if a teacher got annoyed and in front of the class, on you they did shout

when lunch always meant going home to eat with family

and mom enquiring all about your day

when you told mom all the little little details

just avoiding the boy talk and the study talk in every possible way

when you looked forward to 5pm every evening

to go out on your cycle with the ‘colony’ friends to play

when you begged mom to let you stay out a little bit longer

but she just wouldn’t, because the rule said -‘No late nights on a regular week day’

 

when every time that good old landline rang

who the call was for was an unanswered mystery

when you suddenly jumped up from dinner and ran after dad said

“it’s your friend; he wants to know what he missed in class in History”

When phone calls were monitored by parents

and a day out with friends meant supervised movie and lunch

when you believed that everyone is good and trustworthy

and that’s why your best friend was not one, but a huge bunch.

When watching television was a luxury

and your only source of entertainment was fighting with the sibling

when you still believed in organising and being meticulous

and for the next morning, set out each and everything thing.

When going to bed was peaceful and stress-free

and mom came and tucked you in with a loving caring peck

when no negative thoughts lingered as you shut your eyes

and life hadn’t made you into this wreck

somehow in the race of growing up

we all switch from our initial track

in a never ending quest for success and happiness

on life we almost declare an attack

we lose all those lovely days of peace

and their innocence is what our life then starts to lack

I guess they were always right when they said

“Cherish every moment of this, school days never ever come back”

 

..

I sit next to my tungsten lamp
And wonder why I can't say it aloud no more,
That I have started locking up my feelings
And am throwing away the key to that door.

So many have lent me a willing ear
Over the past few years
But now it's tough letting them inside the door
Maybe cuz that ship has hit it's shore.

Everyone has disembarked from that ship
And wandered to their own destination
To the unconditional never ending journey with me
They have submitted their resignation.

As I ponder, I set my eyes upon you
Calling out to me
Encouraging me to let it all out
To cry, to crib, to laugh, to shout.

I started confiding in you
And I am doing that right now
You are my 'bestest' friend ever
And for that you must take a bow.

To you my new found friend
I owe all my remaining sanity
You let me rip my heart open and rant
And always guided me to clarity.

I run into your arms
Everytime I am starting to sink
You force me to try and survive
And i slowly float to the brink.

I may not be a poet
I may not be a writer 
But with every word of confiding in you
You make a strong fighter.

The words just flow out of my head
And it's great that you are always listening
That you always absorb all that I want to say
Every detail and every small little thing..

Just sitting with you in my room
Swaying to my favorite tunes
With a stick in my hand that I light
Life just seems to be perfectly all right.

I have rediscovered you
And of that I am oh so glad
You keep inside you my whole wide world
Even though to the whole wide world
You are just a pen a notepad.

Requiem for a dream

She is sitting in the corner
all timid and full of fear
wondering how she got inside this cave
when just yesterday she was far away from here

She was running freely just days ago
under the open skies and green grass
chasing what she had set out for
but destiny had chosen a different path- Alas!

She tries to escape from the dark caves
but finds herself bruised and in pain
tries to remember what hurt her 
whilst all consciousness she tries to regain

She recollects her journey to a few days back
and remembers the path she took
she was headed straight to her destination
But got distracted by a handsome lad
as deep into his eyes she did look.

Love at first sight had struck her
and she had forgotten what she had set out for
She locked her fingers into his
and with him a new path she started to explore.

And then they reached a dead end
with a cliff that was dangerous and high
He looked at her, held her hand and said
" to be forever for eternity darling, we have to die'

With only true love on her mind
she took the plunge and jumped down
He just stood in all stillness
and looked at her fall and drown.

He hadn't loved her
He hadn't understood her
And of that the drowning girl was sure
but she has given him her life and a whole lot more.

She wanted to survive 
and swam her way to the depressing dark cave
Lay down on a rock so solid
and realized that this could have been her grave.

But here she was today
crawling out of the failure and defeat
Swearing to the sweet lord above
that now reaching her destination will be her only feat.

So she managed to step out 
and run again under the open sky
starts off upon her journey again 
bidding ever bad thought 'good bye'

She is not human
but merely my dream personified 
But if I ever had lost her
with her I too would have died.

We start chasing the light at the end of the tunnel 
because at us we can see it brightly gleam
We aren't going to give up so easily ever 
for I will never chant 'the requiem for a dream' !

.. And she will be healed...

She stood there hurt, shocked and still
With the wind whipping behind her
The biting stench of regret and pain
Were the only company for her

Regret looked at her mockingly
While pain stood right behind
And they both laughed and prodded her
In a cruel pantomime.

Her eyes were faint and moist
Her strength was failing her
Her heart could not bear the pain
That her companions were causing her

Then out of nowhere she saw
She saw a light from the corner of her eye,
He was walking towards her
And she smiled and heaved a relieved sigh.

He had come! He had come at last,
To heal and set her free.
He was the one who could save her
From getting buried under her memories' debris.

They held hands and walked together
And her only company now was him alone.
All the pain and and regret
Were now as good as unknown.

She was starting to feel love again
And her love would be returned she believed
From now on and forever more
She would be completely healed..

Suddenly the whipping wind shook her up
And she opened her moist eyes
Hurt and regret stood right besides her
Continuing their evil pantomime
Its then that she realised..
That him healing her was just a string of lies.

The funeral of love!

On a rainy evening she stands alone at the graveyard,
Stares at the coffin and slowly kneels down
The rain is her only companion she realizes
Cuz when she looks up, there is no one around.

She is dressed in black and looks pretty,
Even as the streams of tears accompany the rain drops down her cheeks
Then she suddenly notices the withering flowers on the coffin,
And it hits her, that she has been mourning for weeks.

Flashes of memories good bad and ugly,
Start attacking her disillusional mind,
And she asks herself whether she went too ahead,
Or whether she got left far behind.

In this moment, she wishes he was by her side,
Keeping his promise, of being with her through this madness of a ride.

She stares with blurry eyes at the black box,
Which is being lowered into the ground,
But her gaze starts to wander,
Hoping and praying that he is somewhere around.

Alas! She is but alone at this funeral,
Weeping with mourning gods of rain,
Letting them wash away all the grief,
And brace her in this moment of unbearable pain.

It's time for her to let go,
And she hesitates to say the final goodbye,
She can't do it, she runs away,
Screaming aloud -' how how how could I let the want for love die!!'

The prefect sunset in Goa

Baga Beach