The unspoken words…
* Her phone rings *
….Its him…It’s been a LONG time…She thinks…Anxiety creeps in…Voices from last conversations scream in her head…They echo… she stares at her phone screen…it’s his name.. Still saved as what she called him back then…
…Should she... Shouldn’t she...should she…shouldn’t she…
*Click*
She says = “Hello”
(Please don’t hang up! Please say something)
*silence*
(please talk!)
He says – “Hi”
(Oh my god! You really answered)
She says- “Umm hi”
(You spoke! It’s so nice to hear your voice)
*pause...pause…pause*
He says- “Are you busy?”
(Are you with someone right now?)
She says- “Not at all, just listening to some music and writing”
(No you fool! I was thinking about you and wondering how it went so wrong, that’s when I write)
He says –“Oh ok... So how are you?”
(Thank god! She isn’t with him…I want to know everything you have been doing all these months)
She Says – “Been getting along fine... You?”
(Haven’t been this miserable ever, I miss you so much, but I don’t want you to ever know that)
He says – “Never been better”
(I miss you too, I think of you, and it hurts, but I decide to keep living. I wish I didn’t)
She says – “Oh nice! So what made you call?”
*silence*
(Please please please tell me that you want it to be fine between us again)
He says – “Just generally”
(I want to tell you everything about my life that you have missed, I want to talk)
She says – “I know you well enough, so is it good news or bad news, it has to be one of them”
(I have loved you so long, that I have been a part of you to know it well enough why you called)
He says- “Good news”
(Good Lord! That’s why I loved her so much; she is like a part of me)
She says- “Wow, tell me”
(This feels so good in my heart that I still know why you do what you do)
He says – “I am going to be a Mamu”
(Couldn’t wait to share this with you)
She says – “Awesome, congratulations to you and didi”
(I wish I could come right there and give you the biggest hugest hug in the world and not let go)
He says- “Thanks!”
(Should I ask her? Should I bring it up)
*pause…pause*
He says- “So how is it going with ‘him’?”
(I can’t help but bring up the past cuz it hurts me so very much)
She says – “ummm…I don’t talk to him anymore”
(You just had to ruin this lovely uncomplicated moment.. didn’t you)
He says- “What! You don’t talk to him! You left me for him”
(Holy Fuck... Am I grateful that she isn’t with him or that she left me for someone that she didn’t even love)
She says- “I didn’t leave you for him, you and I weren’t even together”
(God damn it, I asked you to be mine forever and ever and you said we’ll talk about it later... and I knew that later would never come)
He says – “Fuck you! You are not the person I knew”
(It hurts that a part of me still loves you and misses you)
She says- “Please let’s not get into this again, we just started with a nice conversation after so many months”
(God damn it, we will never be ok, we will never talk normally. Please let me cherish the little bit of it that just happened)
He says – “I should get going now”
(I want to say, see you soon, but I can’t ever see you ‘cuz you hurt me so much that I almost died)
She says- “No! Don’t end it like this!”
(For crying out loud! I loved you for 7 years... I still freaking do. It wasn’t meant to hurt you. I thought you didn’t love me anymore)
He says – “End it! It was over long back”
(Why! Why did you hurt me so much that I have to learn to live without a part of myself?)
She says – “Maybe you should hang up, take care”
(I wish I could call you back, I wish we could talk. I wish we were us, I wish you gave me a chance to talk and tell you why)
*silence*
He says –“Bye”
(This is the hardest thing to do. But I don’t want you to know that I am still hurting and that I still love you)
*silence*
She says – “Bye”
(Hang up before I say I still love you)
*silence…more silence*
…and then…
*click*
* She looks at the phone... It’s all blurry... And she slowly drowns it in her salty drops of pain… *